Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Chapter 8: Summarizer Kaylee Moore

The ending of Self Made Man was Norah Vincent’s reflection of her time as Ned. She admits that the task was extremely hard for her and that in reality she really did not like it. Vincent also comments that being a man was so difficult for her because she could not be herself throughout the entire process. She states the many expectations she had as she first began her research, but most of them were not fulfilled. She hoped that developing her character of Ned that she would have access to an open and honest world of men. She assumed she would get to probe their minds and find out how they felt when women were not around. However, she acquired the knowledge through her experiences as Ned that men are not as open and approachable as she thought they would be; they are closed off and reserve only their real emotions for themselves.
Vincent was also able to draw a lot of different conclusions about the male subculture through conducting her ethnography research; including the fact that as a man your manhood is always in question. She also concludes that the male psyche was where she saw men at their worst, the example being the way they behaved at the strip clubs and treated the women as though they were pieces of meat rather than human beings with feelings. These views Vincent learned are a direct result of a lack of father-son relationships which she also learned even more about through her experience in a male support group. Men are never allowed to show their emotions because their masculinity would be in jeopardy if they did. The many stereotypes and life lessons Vincent learned as Ned allow the reader to be exposed without bias at how much of a struggle it is for men. Some may be accustomed to believe that men have it extremely easy in life, but with Vincent’s conclusions in the final chapter, their assumptions are proved incorrect as they can sympathize with the stories of the men in Self Made Man.
Vincent also explains the struggle it was for her to keep her female and male characters separated from one another. As the experiment wore on, Ned grew a tiresome chore for Vincent to maintain and her sense of self was also in question. In the end however as she puts it she is more than happy to be living as she was meant to live, as a woman.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Chapter 8: Quizzer Linda Lee

1. What does it mean by "You get to be what's expected of you"(276)?

Norah Vincent, in this last chapter, confessed frankly that she didn't feel quite fitted in the role of man. The feeling of constantly being scrutinized and evaluated by people around and the world in general weren't allowing Vincent to feel "free at all". Every human being tends to take a role that is expected of him/her and act on it every day but Men as Ned viewed were easily sympathized because they weren't able to express their emotional defects and hurting inside at a same time. Nevertheless, I think Vincent especially felt so because she was acting Ned as what he was expected of. Vincent couldn't be free because she had to not go off limits of manhood that is known naturally.

2. What was it that made Ned seem so real to Vincent and other people who were involved with Ned?

Ned was not found out by people around him. Vincent was a "real" man for at least a year. She was physically and spiritually the "real" man. Vincent successfully accomplished her mission as a disguised man for a year and the main key reason to Ned's success as Vincent regards was his powerful psychological that Vincent had worked on Ned. It was Vincent's mental projection of Ned that became so natural and "undetectable" even to Vincent herself. Vincent had deceived everyone perfectly and made them believe as what they saw in Ned. Self-discipline and mind-set did function well in both Ned and Vincent.

3. What about "manhood" Vincent wanted to experience and prove to the world and to herself but failed to do so?

As Vincent wrote a few times throughout the book, she used to be a very tomboyish girl with three older brothers who have added the "manliness" in Vincent. Vincent wrote that she'd always envied about boyhood when she was a child: "the perceived freedoms of being unafraid in the world, stamping around loudly with legs apart."At the beginning of the project Vincent thought living as a man and having access to a man's world would be like gaining admission to the big and open and the real deal life. That was what Vincent presumed she would experience as Ned but the outcome was polar opposite. She felt nothing more than wooden, terse, dissimulated and hardened. I don't think Vincent failed but found out the truth about her ideal world by failing to prove what she thought was totally misjudged.

4. What does this one year of disguised man Ned mean to Norah Vincent and the readers?

No matter how much she hated herself for choosing to be Ned for a year, it was certainly a different way to view the world. Vincent in particular who had admired "manhood" before, it definitely provided her with more than enough experience and information to see the misjudgement about them. Vincent referred men to whom are in pain. "A lot of them are in pain" isn't just a statement. Vincent experienced the same pain as Ned and it's more convincing than a random person says, "I know how you feel about your pain." Vincent truly lived as one in every aspect of one's life. There were restrictions and obstacles that makes her tasks impossible but changing a gender and live as a wholly different person is a big deal and I, as a reader, admire Vincent for her powerful endurance, passion and commitment to her work.

Journal Entry #4 March 23, 2009

Through the weeks of reading Self Made Man, our group has learned a lot about the male culture. Self Made Man has opened our minds to even more stereotypes about the male culture that we never thought about in the first place. One of these stereotypes was the feeling of rejection and the extent to which it actually affects a man. Women tend to brush it off and are accustomed to rejecting men, and have no idea that it actually affects them in a negative way. Through Vincent’s experiences as Ned, we also learned that men are constantly under a microscope. Their manhood is always in question and they are unable to open up and show emotions. This is where women get the idea that men are callous and numb to any sort of feeling. In reality, they have all of these feelings and they want to express them to others but they feel as though their manhood and masculinity is at risk. We also learned through Ned’s experience in a male support group that there are a lot of men who have severe hatred toward their mother’s, as well as their father-son relationships being broken and sometimes nonexistent. There are many other secrets that have be unveiled throughout this book. These secrets were intriguing and made the book interesting from the very first page.
Although Vincent does a pretty good job of making sure her research is conducted ethically, our group feels that there were some areas where she could have improved. For one, during her dating time as Ned she came out to three different women and told them that she actually was a woman. Each of them has a different reaction, but most of them still wanted to sleep with Vincent even after she revealed her secret. Our group feels that Vincent was unprofessional in the sense that pursing these women was for her personal enjoyment and not for the book itself. This behavior does not seem ethical to her research about the male culture, and it is really not helping her get inside the mind of a man in order to get the proper research for her book.
At the end of the book Vincent comes to many different conclusions about male culture. The first one was the fact that somebody is always evaluating your manhood. Everyone has high expectations for men and if they fail they fall hard. Vincent also learned that a man’s world is not as open and approachable as she first speculated. The men are always concerned with sex and hazing the weak guy. However, Vincent grew to understand these types of behaviors because of how difficult their lives truly were. The dialogue and words they chose with each other were far from attractive and extremely vulgar and this put Vincent in a very uncomfortable situation. All of this information Vincent found was very relevant to this subculture and she went about finding the information in a very different way than other researchers. She actually lived as a man and retrieved the information that way. However there are many other ways this information could have been found. It would be extremely difficult for Vincent to find her information by simply asking men because they will not come out and tell her the same things she learned as Ned. They may tell her a few things about what it is like to live in a man’s world, but she would not have the same access to it as Ned did. A survey could also have been used, but again the results would not be as good or beneficial to her research.
In the end, Vincent’s ethnography was successful in our minds. She set her mind on a goal and achieved it in every way possible. She even admits that she’ll never truly understand what it like to be a man. In reality it takes a true ethnographer to admit this and own up to the reality of their work. All in all her ethnography about male culture is effective and teaches its readers the true emotions and experiences of a man’s and how hard it can be at times for women to live in it.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Chapter 8: Vocabulary Builder - Tony Baregi

Vocabulary Builder Chapter 8.

Prototypical (275) the original or model on which something is based or formed.

Screed (275) a long discourse or essay

Terseness (276) abruptly concise

Ossification (276) something that has ossified; a bony formation.

Baroquely (277) Extravagant, complex, or bizarre, especially in ornamentation

Puerile (278) childishly foolish; immature or trivial

Cogent (278) to the point; relevant; pertinent

Vitriol (279) something highly caustic or severe in effect, as criticism.

Purporting (279) To have the intention of doing; purpose.

Exonerate (286) to clear, as of an accusation; free from guilt or blame

Chapter 8: Graphic Organizer Kaylee Cardinal


Norah Vincent concludes that it was hard being a guy and that overall, she didn’t like it. She came to many conclusions though that served her purpose for making women realize what men go through and what it’s like to live in a man’s world. Vincent describes the expectations that men have. They are completely different from women in the sense that there is this ideal image that every man has to live up to. They are not allowed to be complete human being and aren’t technically allowed to do some of the things girls do, such as cry and have emotions.
The sex drives that men have are something that women could never understand. Even Vincent stated that “I’ll never truly know what that drive feels like on the brain when testosterone is fueling it, but I saw how by turns brutish and powerless a man can feel in the company of women and how bitter and often puerile he can be in the company of men.”
Men also have a completely different type of language that they speak and a dialogue that is sometimes disturbing to women. Men think that they’re all that when they talk dirty and swear. Vincent found out that they’re obsessions with fucking and competing and hazing just make them feel that much more powerful. On the other hand, Vincent said that she knew where much of the language was coming from because of the hard lives that men lead and how it is just a way of getting out their distress.
Rejection was one of the things that Ned had a hard time with. The ability for men to get up enough courage to ask a woman on a date takes a lot of guts. When Ned got rejected the first couple times, he thought he was never going to get a date. He thought that dating was going to be the fun and easy part of being a man, but he was proved wrong when rejection came into his life. But Curtis was there to help him along and give him that extra bit of confidence and tell him to be a man. Ned also dealt with rejection when it came to his work life. Going door-to-door selling books and coupons sounds easy, but Ned thought it was going to be impossible when he got rejected countless times. He was told to be a man again and buck up, and once he did this he ended up being in control and selling book after book and making great money.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Chapter 7: Graphic Organizer Linda Lee

Chapter 7 Self starts with Robert Bly's Iron John about "a crisis of identity in American manhood caused largely by the prevalence of broken relationships between fathers and sons" which is a whole issue about this chapter and Vincent decides to go to Men's secret meeting where she learns a totally different side of only "men" community unlike at the monastery. The guys who attend the meeting come on their own will for self-help and their approach to the reality is different from any group of men Vincent has encountered before. They learn how to communicate and speak their inner sides and be connected and engaged in a casual way and much more adjustable way. It definitely shocked Ned and Ned himself was undergoing a hard time preparing to end this a-year-long journey under confusion and emotional conflicts in him. Being afraid to step in in a different atmosphere of men group pressed Vincent down from feeling free and fully engaging. At the end of the chapter, she consciously questioned herself on the subject of 'truly know what is it like to be a man' out of self-confusion and tiredness. I think she had some Self time to think back what she has accomplished so far to gather justifiably for the book.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Chapter 7: Quizzer Kaylee Moore

1. Vincent believed that going to the male support group would allow her to coast through the last part of her year as Ned, but as she puts it this part of her journey pushed her to her breaking point. Why is it that something that is supposed to relax and welcome men is making Ned go crazy?

Joining the male support group put Vincent in a situation that was out of her comfort zone, even Ned’s comfort zone. Men in general would be uncomfortable at first in this type of open emotional atmosphere. Men are not used to opening up to other individuals in fear of their manhood being questioned. Ned is no different. Ned has never really been in a situation where he would have to open up his true emotions to others, because it is just not a major part of the male culture to do so. Vincent has to make sure not to get too emotional with her actions for fear of her cover being blown. There are only certain ways she can act as Ned that still would be pushing the limits even for males, but going to far risks her revealing herself to the men of the support group. These constant internal struggles are enough to make anyone go crazy. Feeling uncomfortable in your skin, vulnerable, and constantly watching every action you take would push anyone to the point of breaking down. However this was probably a good experience for Ned because he got to see another side of the male culture and got to act the part as well. Not all men are calloused to emotions and it is a beneficial part of Vincent’s research to put Ned in this type of situation, despite the struggles they faced in this situation.


2. Throughout Chapter seven, a lot of the men in the support group deal with a lot of issues with the relationships with their fathers. Do you feel this occurs with a lot of male adults? Why or why not? Would they view life differently if they had a good relationship with their fathers?

According to this chapter it seems as though a lot of men in America hold some kind of hostile emotions towards their fathers. The men in the support group even admitting to being homicidal and wanting to kill them, although these types of crimes would have never occurred. To me, it seems like a majority of the male population would have issues with their father-son relationships. Sons are in a constant battle for acceptance from their fathers. They feel they always have to be more masculine, more athletic and more macho in general for their fathers to accept them. With the constant pull of the reigns, sons feel regret and anger towards their fathers for always trying to control them, or being disappointed in them for specific reasons. Always questioning their manhood and suppressing their emotions puts a great weight on the shoulders of young boys, and this weight is a direct result from the pressure of their fathers, so it is no wonder a lot of fathers and sons have “fall-outs” or have severely hostile relationships. If men in general were not constantly under a microscope, maybe they would have a different outlook on life. Their masculinity is always in question, their emotions always have to be in check, and they battle their fathers more than anyone knows. All of these strains cause a lot stress that makes life hard for a lot of men. If fathers were not so concerned about their sons in this light, maybe young boys would grow up to be compassionate and unafraid to express their emotions.


3. Vincent talks about how refreshing it was to hear the men talk about all of their feelings, even anger out in the open. Why is it that women are too afraid to speak their minds and let others know about their emotions? Do you feel you hold back your true emotions from others?

Men and women share the same fear of showing emotions. Men fear showing their emotions because they worry about others viewing them as weak individuals. However in the support group that Ned participates in the emotions of these men come out all over the place. It surprises me as a female reader to see these men showing their emotions and expressing them so deeply with one another. Women always assume that men are calloused and numb to any type of emotion, when in reality they are not. Women on the other hand are scared to show their emotions since other will automatically judge them for how they behave. No woman wants to be perceived as a bitch, but if she becomes angry and voices her opinions other automatically name call. Men and women both face a double standard when it comes to showing or not showing their emotions. This hinders them from being their true selves and can be very unhealthy. Personally, I know I hold a lot of my anger back with others. I do not want to come off as a mean girl when I get angry with someone, so I try to suppress the emotion and forget the situation ever happened. However, this is probably the worst thing I could do because the anger just keeps growing until I eventually explode on someone and unleash all of my emotions at the wrong time.


4. Towards the end of the chapter Vincent states that she really didn’t know what it was like to be a man and that she never could know. All she was sure about was how it felt to be treated like a male which was what she wanted to get out of this experiment. How does being received as a man contribute to Vincent actually learning what it is like to be a man?


Being accepted as a man is probably the best thing Vincent could have done throughout this entire ethnography. Gaining the acceptance and being received as a man gave her a passageway into their world that she never would have experienced as a woman. Ned led her into situations no woman has ever been before and in turn, Vincent was able to get a taste of what it was like to be a man. I agree that she never could actually know what it is like to be a man. She has the knowledge of how men are treated, which is about as close as she can ask to get to the real thing. Being received as a man led Ned along his journey and gave Vincent a new set of eyes to see the world through. She now has a male perspective on society that will always stay with her and she can appreciate the male culture that much more than any other woman who has not experienced what she put herself through.

Chapter 7: Vocabulary Builder Kaylee Cardinal

Bereft (229)- Playing someone with a disability is very, very difficult, yet he does it so flawlessly that you really believe that he is brain-damaged.
Mimeographed (231)- A duplicator that makes copies of written, drawn, or typed material from a stencil that is fitted around an inked drum.
Mantras (231)- A sacred verbal formula repeated in prayer, meditation, or incantation, such as an invocation of a god, a magic spell, or a syllable or portion of scripture containing mystical potentialities.
Paunch (235)- A large and protruding belly; potbelly.
Offal (235)- The parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings; carrion.
Eschewing (239)- To avoid; shun.
Talismans (245)- A stone, ring, or other object, engraved with figures or characters supposed to possess occult powers and worn as an amulet or charm.
Priapic (245)- Exaggeratedly concerned with masculinity and male sexuality
Lintel (245)- A horizontal architectural member supporting the weight above an opening, as a window or a door.
Proselytizing (249)- To convert or attempt to convert as a proselyte; recruit.
Cloying (249)- Causing or tending to cause disgust or aversion through excess:
Paeans (250)- A song of joyful praise or exultation.
Insipid (250)- Without distinctive, interesting, or stimulating qualities; vapid
Gulag (256)- The system of forced-labor camps in the Soviet Union.
Inexorably (258)- Unyielding; unalterable: not to be persuaded, moved, or affected by prayers or entreaties
Sinecure (259)- An office or position requiring little or no work, esp. one yielding profitable returns.
Malaise (266)- A condition of general bodily weakness or discomfort, often marking the onset of a disease.
Dyspeptic (272)- Gloomy, pessimistic, and irritable.

Chapter 7 Summerizer - Tony Baregi

Summerizer Chapter 7.
In this chapter titled Self, Vincent decides to take her final step towards completing her study as Ned. She decides to join a male support group. She finds that this would be her hardest challenge yet, because of the fact that the group is composed of all men and more importantly going to be discussing deep problems that men have. As the group meetings begin Norah feels that some of the group practices are superficial. She talks about how hugs were a part of the therapy but she doesn’t want to be forced to hug someone, it has to be a real genuine situation to give or receive a hug to Vincent. Also Norah says she dislikes the “program” of group. She describes herself as someone who is not part of a program, but as someone who continues to be outside of the box.
Later in the chapter the group of thirty-three men and one woman go on a two day retreat. She again says this will be an extremely hard challenge because she will be living in the same quarters as the other men. She decides that she will not shower and will not take of her beard at anytime and also undress in her sleeping bag, just to put the same clothes on the next day. If Ned got mud on him all the better to add to Vincent’s disguise. The retreat then begins with a symbolic game that was a custom in a Native American tribe. The game was called smugging that first brought the men close to each other, and once feeling comfortable would step out of the circle and become “purified” in the smoke of the incense. Ned found that the game was a little bit childish; however she saw the meaning behind the game.
Vincent reiterated that it was almost impossible to keep up her act as Ned in this setting. She said, “It takes constant effort, and vigilance.” (269) She was constantly afraid of the slightest false step, that someone would find out her true identity. It was starting to become a major burden that would in her words inevitably implode her character of Ned.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Chapter 6 Graphic Organizer Kaylee Moore

Chapter six is about Ned finding male dominated jobs or what Vincent refers to as “Red Bull” jobs. While looking through the want ads Ned tries to find positions that he is qualified for and Vincent fudges her resume a little bit to make Ned look good. Vincent is also excited for Ned to be wearing dress clothes. These clothes are the true essence of a working man, and Ned looks better in them than his normal everyday shabby clothing. He is dressed the part and looking professional for his many interviews. The interviews went well for Ned. He was cocky, confident and down to the point, qualities that women do not use during interviews. It seemed as though the interviewers respected Ned for these qualities. There was even an instance when Ned dropped an F bomb in the middle of an interview, and the interviewed thought it to be “refreshing.” Ned then realizes the majority of his eleven hour work days are spent out in the elements, rain, snow or shine selling goods door to door in his suit. He met Ivan and Troy during his days on the Red Bull job. He spent most of his time with Ivan, who was a young man conducting Ned’s second interview. Troy was another employee from the ghetto who was a very good salesman, only because he had no other way of income. Ned also learns that if you stick with the Red Bull jobs you will have ample opportunities for advancement.


Monday, March 16, 2009

Chapter 6: Summarizer Kaylee Cardinal

During chapter six, Ned set out to find a job. He began looking for entry level jobs that didn’t require any experience. Nathan came upon an ad in the newspaper for Red Bull, and she figured this would be perfect. She scheduled interviews and came upon the first time where Ned actually felt like he was walking taller. When Ned put on his suit and tie, he felt much more entitled to respect than he ever had in his slob clothes that he wore bowling with the guys. Nathan also felt much more comfortable dressed in a suit because she didn’t have to worry about any chest or shoulder worries that she had. Nathan took up many interviews regarding this job, and overall was offered every job that was applied for. When Ned took the Red Bull job, he thought it was going to be somewhat simple. The task was to go door-to-door, all day every day, and make the same pitch trying to sell things. These things consisted of entertainment books, phone service books, and VIP cards. However, Ned ended up having more trouble than he expected.
During Ned’s second interview, he met a man named Ivan. Ivan was a very good salesman who could pretty much sell to anyone. He made up a lot of stories and stated he had slept with seventy-four women and had an IQ of 180. However, Vincent said that because he was “full of shit”, it is what made him such a great salesman. Ivan brought Ned around and introduced him to everyone at work and he got many welcoming handshakes from his fellow coworkers.
On the first day, Ned met with every one for the usual morning meeting that the Red Bull company had. Dano, the gatekeeper and BMOC at Clutch Advertising, spoke a very inspirational speech and then informed everyone that there was going to be an incentive for whoever sold the most books. They were put in teams of three and the first team back at the end of the day got an added bonus of three hundred dollars. Ned was paired with Ivan and Tiffany (the eighteen-year-old pregnant girl). The three set out immediately, and Ivan had this brilliant plan to use Tiffany to their advantage. They were going to seek out all male businesses and have Tiffany strut her stuff. However, when this plan failed they had to do it the old-fashioned way going door-to door.
At first Ned was excited to give his first sales pitch in a neighborhood. But he soon found out it was not as easy as he thought. Rejection came back into his life on this day and he felt like he did when he couldn’t get a date. Ned felt like he was never going to make a sale. But Ivan made sure this didn’t happen. He told Ned he needed to grow a pair and act like a man and he’d be fine. Ned was being way too flirty and nice and Ivan told him he needed to show his manhood. And that was all it took. Ned kept trying and by the end of the day, he was the one in control.

Chapter 6 Work Vocabulary Builder - Linda Lee

testosterone (p184)
1 : a hormone that is a hydroxy steroid ketone C19H28O2 produced especially by the testes or made synthetically and that is responsible for inducing and maintaining male secondary sex characters
2 : qualities (as brawn and aggressiveness) usually associated with males : manliness

emasculate (p184)
to deprive of strength, vigor, or spirit : weaken

mitigate (p188)
to make less severe or painful : alleviate

coquettish-ly (p191)
a woman who endeavors without sincere affection to gain the attention and admiration of men

scrotum (p192)
the external pouch that in most mammals contains the testes

powwow (p193)
an American Indian ceremony (as for victory in war), an American Indian social gathering or fair usually including competitive dancing, a social get-together, a meeting for discussion

epitome (p194)
a brief presentation or statement of something

demagogic (p205)
of, relating to characteristic of a demagogue(a leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims and promises in order to gain power)

operandi (p225)
a method of procedure ; especially : a distinct pattern or method of operation that indicates or suggests the work of a single criminal in more than one crime

camouflage (p228)
behavior or artifice designed to deceive or hide

Chapter 6: Quizzer - Tony Baregi

1.How does dressing up, particularly in a suit and tie, affect the Ned?

Ned is set out to find a job. He ends up getting a suit and tie and wants to find out how it feels to be a big shot in a suit. Vincent said that she felt taller walking around in her dress clothes, almost like she was entitled to respect. The suit jacket did a nice job of covering up her shoulders and chest as well. Vincent said it was equivalent to the females having bleached hair or fake breasts.

2. Describe how to become a good salesman?

Vincent was set up with a door to door sales job. On the first day she was riding with two other people Ivan and Troy. During the rounds Vincent noticed how Troy reeled in a sale with little effort. He talked with a boy who answered the door and told him to go and tell your mom that there is a nigger at the door. The mom completely embarrassed, felt bad and almost had to buy the merchandise. Vincent said it was all about being able to tell the costumer what they needed to hear.

3. Describe how Ned’s first day of selling went.

The first day the group of salesman went out and did the old door to door scheme. Vincent’s first neighborhood was a typical suburb that had the nice lawns and respectable families playing outside on them. Vincent said, “It’s very humbling to become the thing you hate.” Every time she started her conversations she would begin with statements like “I’m sorry” or “sorry to bother you,” because that was the only truthful statement she pitched to them. Ned started to feel the rejections once again much like when she was trying to approach women at the bar.

4. How does Vincent compare and contrast the difference between how guys and girls present a sales pitch?

Vincent’s perspective on how a girl might sell a pitch is very different. She says that girls take the flirting approach. To make it seem they are pleading for someone to buy their product. When Ned first tried this way he immediately crashed and burned. In the case of making sales, showing weakness as a girl people will shed sympathy. However, with boys if there is any kind of weakness both men and women will look to put an end to what they are trying to sell.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Chapter 5 Life Summarizer - Linda Lee

Chapter 5 Life is about Ned’s experiences with many other monks in a monastery. Vincent explains her reason of choosing a monastery as a place "the least terrifying venue I could think of in which to observe men living together in close quarters without women, and the only one I was likely to infiltrate successfully as Ned.”(132)
Vincent hoped to find out about “male socialization and interaction in an all-male environment” which she felt was quite different from her experience with her “bowling buddies”. Ned’s encounter with life at the abbey was indeed very refreshing but Vincent meets Brother Vergil who had been a novice at his early twenties, and had taken his preliminary vows after completing the novitiate. Ned gets along well with Brother Vergil and in the end Ned becomes infatuated by him. Vincent calls their relationship Ned’s “first true friendship” with a man that taught her the limits of male friendships.
Besides, there is Father Jerome who had entered the religious life at twenty and effectively killed his sexuality there. Ned and Father Jerome discussed about Ned’s feeling towards Brother Vergil and Father Jerome helped Ned realize that. There were also monks who were claimed to take pills for one's depression issue and one real quality that was lacked in that community was openness about emotional sides of a person. Vincent explains that spending time in the recreation room with a bunch of monks taught Ned a fair amount of the monks' ways with each other, "their interpersonal skills of lack thereof" and the monks to each other were just “rigid” and “inept”. In addition, Vincent emphasized that without a little bit of effeminate characters, men are hard to get around with.
There was Father Claude who was opened with Ned easily with Ned's feminie approach. Vincent writes a big deal out of this topic; men's inability to express their feelings. Vincent also wrote that "these guys weren't gay. They just didn't want the emotional demands and constant struggles of navigating the opposite sex."(158)
Esteem was also one of big topics under the lives of monastery where monks were expected to be accepted and respected in a way that is acceptable. The last stage of Ned's stay at the Monastery was the confession Ned made in front of Father Fat, Brother Vergil and Felix who hadn't needed to know that Ned was a woman in order to give the hug.
In the end, Vincent confessed that "abbey was indeed a very hard place to be a woman" and she well explained how hard it is to be a man with feelings in a society where it's just not acceptable.

Chapter 5: Graphic Organizer - Tony Baregi

This is the layout of what Ned was to do while living at the monastery. Most of the day was set aside for prayer and reflection. Even during breakfast and dinner there was to be no talking aloud while the meal was going on. The main times that Vincent was able to interact with the men was during lunch which was informal allowing the men to converse, and the short recreation period. Vincent found during these periods that even though they are monks they are still men that come from different backgrounds and still talk in similar manners as men on the outside world.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Chapter 5: Quizzer Kaylee Cardinal

1.) Do you think Vincent’s research at the monastery was useful? Why did she choose to do research here and what conclusions did she draw?

I was very surprised when I started reading about Vincent joining a monastery as Ned. I was not expecting this at all after the strip clubs and countless dates Ned went on. I felt like this chapter was mostly fringe stuff and it was unlikely to give the author a true cross-section of “typical” masculine behavior. Her intentions were to see what happens to men when they are out of their element when they are without the company of women. I suppose I understand why she did this, but I just feel like it was a weird twist to add in the book. She found that the men in the monastery lacked interpersonal skills and were not very social. Considering some of them had been living for thirty years or more, one would think that they would know all about each other and their interests. However, Vincent observed that this was false. She also concluded that they are not allowed to show any intimacy or affection to one another. This is shown in the book when Vincent tries to hug Brother Virgil and every one freaks out. In my opinion, I do not think the monastery represents a typical guy world that she is researching and she could’ve chosen a better place to research.

2.) On page 139, Vincent tells us how Ned did everything Vergil had said. For example, “he’d motion me to his side with a curt hand gesture that meant “come.” And like a trained subservient, I did come. I’d flip my book open to the right page and he’d point his index finger, again without looking at me, at the right place in prayer.” Vincent says it was like Ned was the pupil, and Vergil was the master. Do you think this affected how she viewed things and would’ve had different research if she had a mind of her own instead of following all orders?

I think that Vincent followed what was going on just because she didn’t want to cause any trouble. If she would’ve just stood in the back and not made any friends with Vergil or Brother Felix then she would’ve had a hard time connecting with them and getting the information that she did. Overall in this book, I think that Ned has done a great job building relationships with everyone and has tried relating as much as he could to a real man’s life. Throughout the chapter Ned begins to have a mind of his own and ends up standing up to Vergil and getting closer with him. I think that her reactions in the beginning definitely affected how she viewed things because she was under such a tight leash and while I was reading I kept thinking she was like a dog obeying its master. I just wanted her to stand up for herself and not do everything Vergil said. However, on the other hand I think she did what she had to and it was necessary for her to do as she was told in order to make friends and be accepted in this monastery.

3.) Vincent titles chapter five “Life.” Why do you think she chooses this title and do you think it pertains and describes the chapter well?


Obviously the first thing that one notices when starting a chapter is the title (if it has one). When I read this chapter title, I did not see this context coming at all. I thought it was possibly going to be about family members or traveling to different parts of the world, but the notion of a monastery did not cross my mind once.
Religion is a very important part of many people’s lives. It can alter or effect how a person views certain things and the practices and rituals are all different depending on the religion and culture. I feel that Vincent chose the title “Life” because of how significant religion is for some people. However, she never mentions this in the chapter and she only states the reason for joining a monastery is to get away from the common sex life of most males. She states that many things done at the monastery are very different from what she is used to such as hugging and the social life. I do not think that this title represents the chapter well and she should’ve explained why the monastery was chosen to be called “Life” and what her intentions were for choosing this.

4.) So far Vincent has ended up revealing herself to almost everyone she has become close with. In this chapter, she describes her revelation to Vergil as “receptive, understanding, immediately forgiving, just as Father Fat had been.” How would you react to Vincent if you played a part in her book and why?

I am actually very shocked by many of the responses that Vincent is getting when she exposes herself and tells the truth. To my surprise, I have yet to read about someone who gets very angry and ends up turning against Vincent and never talking to her again. If I were to play a part in this book and Vincent revealed herself to me, I would probably be very upset at first especially if I had said a lot. Depending on the role I played and how close we got as friends (or if we ever went on a date) would suggest how upset I would get by this. I am not a person to hold grudges so in the end I’m sure I would understand. However, it would not be something that I would ever forget. I hope that something exciting happens in the future chapters regarding her revelation and that we see a different reaction other than the usual acceptance that we’ve seen by Vergil, Father Fat, Sasha, and his bowling team so far.

Journal Entry #3: Self Made Man One Woman's Year Disguised As a Man March 12, 2009

Self Made Man is a book that provokes a lot of questions in its readers. As with any book like this one of Norah Vincent, readers are going to be curious if the information they are being provided with is valid since it is only the opinion of only one individual. Our group realized after we have been reading the book for a while that we have tended to accept Vincent’s information without question because she presents her research in a way that makes sense to us as readers. It makes so much sense that we have just accepted it, until now. Taking a step back our group has realized that Vincent is only one individual and this book is about a year through only her eyes. Now if someone was to conduct a similar type of research and write a book that was similar to the results Vincent had, then the information may seem a little bit more valid. We trust that the activities Ned participates in such as the bowling league, living in a monastery, and participating in a door-to-door sales job all really occurred, but Ned still technically is a woman in a mans body so his experiences may still be different than what a man would actually experience. Although Vincent presents all of her information in Self Made Man in a way that most readers will believe her, readers need to also understand that Vincent is only one opinion, one voice that is describing a subculture of many people.
As previously mentioned Vincent presents her information in an easy way for readers to understand. She makes it so easy that readers fail to question anything she says. To make the information easy for the reader to understand, Vincent makes use of a lot of stories. She takes account many different interactions with the various people she encounters. The stories she tells to the reader really makes them understand her emotions as she is going through the process of being Ned. They also help the reader visualize and interpret the various situations she puts herself in. For example, in chapter four, about love and relationships, Ned takes a woman named Anna out on a date to a Chinese restaurant. Ned had been dating for a long time and all of these dates were breaking him financially. He hoped that this cheap date would be short, but Anna was different from all the other girls. He felt at ease when she sat down and the date went on for a lot longer than expected. Ned regretted not taking her some place nicer after he met her. This story shows the emotional connection Ned felt towards his dates, and the vivid descriptions are what keep the reader intrigued from the beginning of the chapter until the very end. The stories like the one of Ned and Anna help paint a picture for the reader and make them feel like they are actually there in the situation. People do not like to be fed fact after fact; rather they enjoy hearing stories of someone’s experiences. Stories keep the reader intrigued because they are more complimentary and interesting.
If we were to look for more information on this topic we could look at the gay and lesbian support groups on campus. They could help us understand how they feel about this topic and their opinions about Norah Vincent’s research. They can let us know how they feel about a lesbian going undercover as a heterosexual male. It would be interesting to see if they are for or against it. We would be able to receive more opinions rather than information, but it would be nice to see the reactions of others rather than just one woman’s views. Another thing we could do is dress in drag ourselves. The ability for us as a group to go out and experience what Vincent did will help us receive more information, and it might actually be fun. We also would be able to determine if the things Vincent says and does are valid and true. There is no better way to really determine if Vincent’s thoughts are valid.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Chapter 5: Vocabulary Kaylee Moore

1. Vespers (131)- Roman Catholic Church. a part of the office to be said in the evening by those in major orders, frequently made a public ceremony in the afternoons or evenings of Sundays and holy days.

2. Novitiate (135)- the state or period of being a beginner in anything.

3. Exuberances (139)- joyful enthusiasm.

4. Cloister (149)- a place of religious seclusion, as a monastery or convent.

5. Diocese (157)- an ecclesiastical district under the jurisdiction of a bishop.

6. Avuncular (155)- Of or having to do with an uncle.

7. Zeal (165)- fervor for a person, cause, or object; eager desire or endeavor; enthusiastic diligence; ardor.

8. Orthodox (176)-of, pertaining to, or conforming to the approved form of any doctrine, philosophy, ideology, etc.

9. Cryptic (178)- mysterious in meaning; puzzling; ambiguous: a cryptic message.

10.Clodhopping (183)- boorish, rude

Chapter 4: Graphic Organizer-Kaylee Cardinal


Ned finds out that dating was the hardest thing he had to do as Ned. During the first couple dates, he brought along his friend Curtis to help him through this difficult task. Rejection was something that Ned was not expecting to be so hard, and he came across it right away. The first night when he was at a sports bar, Ned got rejected and didn’t like the feeling of it. However, Curtis was there to support him and let him know that it happens to everyone and its just part of the game. Considering Curtis was a handsome, sensible guy, Vincent wondered how he could take rejection all the time. Curtis responded with “I get rejected ninety percent of the time. But it’s that ten percent.” Vincent realized how hard it was for a man to approach a women and how hard it was to deal with rejection. Once he began going on dates, there was one thing that women appreciated: the writing. A well-written email or thoughtful poem had the most effect on women. It is not that common for a man to write lengthy emails, so for Ned to do this was a great first impression and all of the women wooed over it. During this chapter, Vincent talks about the numerous first dates that Ned went on, but how she only continued to keep in contact with three of them: Sasha, Anna, and Sally. Ned’s time spent with Sasha lasted the longest, three weeks total. They emailed several times a day and shared with each other almost anything. When it was time for Vincent to tell Sasha that Ned was a woman, she wondered where things would go. To Vincent’s surprise, Sasha was okay with this and stated that for the past few weeks her nickname for Ned has been “My Gay Boyfriend.” Next, Vincent states that Anna was the best date she ever had as Ned. They had chemistry from the moment they met. When Ned was finally revealed to Anna, she acted a little afraid and uncomfortable, but that was something that Vincent accepted. Lastly was Sally, who flirted with Ned and giggled nonstop. When Ned told her the truth, she responded with “Maybe some part of me knew, I don’t know. You made so much eye contact. You listened so well. You weren’t hairy. I’m not sure.” Overall Vincent came to the conclusion that dating was very hard. She gave men a lot of credit for dealing with rejection and having to go through the tough situations they do.

Chapter 4: Summarizer Kaylee Moore

Chapter 4 focused on dating, relationships and love. It seemed to be the hardest part of Vincent’s Journey as Ned. She begins the chapter learning the ropes of dating with her friend Curtis. They are at a sports bar and Ned jumps in too quickly to hit on a group of women. This is where he receives his first form of rejection, the brush off. At first, Ned is not fazed by the rejection and accepts it but as the night continues he realizes how small men feel after being rejected so many times by women. Vincent elaborates a lot in this chapter about the qualities women are looking for in a man, and how she speculates that women sometimes have absolutely no idea what they are looking for really. They want a man to be strong and manly, but they want them to be sensitive and show their true colors and feelings as well. Men are in a constant battle at achieving both of these personas. Vincent sympathizes a lot with men in this chapter stating that it is a wonder that men and women even come together in the first place.
Also, Vincent decides in chapter 4 that she will not reveal her secret to the women she dated unless she had a few successful dates with them. This occurred with three women, and each of them took the reveal in very different ways. One of these women was Sasha. Their first date consisted of her babbling on and on about things that any man would be bored with during a coffee date. Ned executed some ruder comments towards the end of the date, just to see what kind of reaction he would get. Her trite and quick reactions to his questions showed Ned that Sasha was open to answering anything. She eventually reveals that she is in love with a married man, and that made Ned even more interested in her. The two exchange e-mails on a frequent basis. Vincent comments how her words were what won her over in the eyes of her daters. They got a feel for her writing and communication, and then after a while of internet dating with e-mails was when they decided to meet with Ned. Eventually came the time where Sasha and Ned wanted to go to bed together. Vincent explained to Sasha her secret, and at first Sasha needed time to get used to the fact that Ned was actually a woman. She normally wouldn’t succumb to lesbianism she admitted, but she still went to bed with Vincent, intrigued by the book and the research she was doing.
Anna, another woman Ned revealed himself too, was completely against him actually being a woman. Ned was not big enough for her in the first place. She liked a bigger guy to take control, and was strictly heterosexual. She was not going to budge.
Sally was the last woman Ned revealed himself too. She was shocked, but admitted she thought something was off. She particularly mentioned how un-hairy Ned was for a man. She was insecure that Ned only asked her out for research purposes and because of this grew a little bit angry with Ned. However, she claimed she still wanted to keep seeing Ned. Eventually, the two fell apart and Sally began seeing a man and brushed Ned off.
What was interesting to me about this chapter was the willingness of most women to accept Ned as a woman. Most were very open minded to the idea, intrigued by the research as well as the book she was writing. Dating and carrying on relationships as a man was a daunting task for Ned, and Vincent sympathized with men frequently throughout the chapter. She portrayed to her readers a deeper understanding of the male side of dating and how hard women do really make it for them.