Chapter 4: Quizzer - Linda Lee

1. At the beginning of the chapter 4 Vincent “thought dating was going to be the fun part and the easiest part, however at the end of the chapter, Vincent explains “dating women was the hardest thing she had to do as Ned.” What made Vincent change her mind?
Norah Vincent assumed that dating part would be the 'fun' and 'easy' part which proved her wrong through three 'different' dates with three different women. Vincent who had experienced dating women in the past, due to her being lesbian had a seemingly different approach to the women in real life as Ned. Ned had forced himself to go out there and endure rejections from women. Ned finally saw the different sides of men in a relationship and came to understand them and got a feeling of empathy towards them. Having a conversation and getting into a relationship with several women were certainly a shocking approach to Ned and Vincent herself too and Vincent realized that there were many things women were wrong about men. Vincent confessed at the end of the chapter "I have never felt more vulnerable to total strangers, never more socially defenseless than in my clanking suit of borrowed armor." (130) This line could be interpreted as Vincent came to comprehend and understand her perception of women and Ned's perception of women are totally different. Vincent had a hard time figuring out the true identity and characteristics of women in the real life.


2. What does it mean by “rejection is a staple for guys,”?
Ned, in his first approach to women at the bar, couldn't handle the feeling of rejection and needed a wing man to give himself another shot. Curtis, Ned's wing man for the dating experience, said "rejection is part of the game. It's expected."(100) To men, it is an inevitable gateway to pass in order to have a change and they cannot be defeated or hurt so easily. They should keep knocking on every possible door to find the right women for them and just bear in mind that rejection and relationship are not two separate things. They will always be an issue together for men.

3. What differences can you tell about men and women from the paragraph You’re a good guy until you prove otherwise-with women there was quite often a presumption of guilt: you’re a cad like every other guy until you prove otherwise”(101)?
This statement shows clearly the major difference of a degree of acceptance in men's society and women's society. Men accept you as a good guy at the first glance and the judgment stays the same until you prove otherwise but for women it's the opposite. A guy to them is an existence they dislike automatically and the guy should try hard enough to please them. It's the different mind-set both men and women have about 'male' in a society. Women have a hostile attitude towards men in every way. The reason could be discrimination rooted deep down in the society that women feel inferior to men in every degree and they assume that in a relationship is the only place where women can take the lead and they feel they should provoke them to the very fullest sense. When women see a man, they start from a certain degree of expectation that he could either be a jerk or the love of her life and it is totally up to the man to prove either.


4. What are the shortcomings all female have about dating, according to Vincent?
"Emotional arrogance, lack of perspective, often unreasonable needs and projections and blames, failure, like men, to manage or acknowledge the imbalance on women's own side of the equation" (130) are the "too apparent shortcomings" that all female have about dating and life in general. These are what made Vincent be able to see herself and other women in general through the dating chapter and Vincent confessed, due to those factors of women, a man dating a woman was the hardest thing to do as Ned.