The ending of Self Made Man was Norah Vincent’s reflection of her time as Ned. She admits that the task was extremely hard for her and that in reality she really did not like it. Vincent also comments that being a man was so difficult for her because she could not be herself throughout the entire process. She states the many expectations she had as she first began her research, but most of them were not fulfilled. She hoped that developing her character of Ned that she would have access to an open and honest world of men. She assumed she would get to probe their minds and find out how they felt when women were not around. However, she acquired the knowledge through her experiences as Ned that men are not as open and approachable as she thought they would be; they are closed off and reserve only their real emotions for themselves.
Vincent was also able to draw a lot of different conclusions about the male subculture through conducting her ethnography research; including the fact that as a man your manhood is always in question. She also concludes that the male psyche was where she saw men at their worst, the example being the way they behaved at the strip clubs and treated the women as though they were pieces of meat rather than human beings with feelings. These views Vincent learned are a direct result of a lack of father-son relationships which she also learned even more about through her experience in a male support group. Men are never allowed to show their emotions because their masculinity would be in jeopardy if they did. The many stereotypes and life lessons Vincent learned as Ned allow the reader to be exposed without bias at how much of a struggle it is for men. Some may be accustomed to believe that men have it extremely easy in life, but with Vincent’s conclusions in the final chapter, their assumptions are proved incorrect as they can sympathize with the stories of the men in Self Made Man.
Vincent also explains the struggle it was for her to keep her female and male characters separated from one another. As the experiment wore on, Ned grew a tiresome chore for Vincent to maintain and her sense of self was also in question. In the end however as she puts it she is more than happy to be living as she was meant to live, as a woman.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Chapter 8: Quizzer Linda Lee
1. What does it mean by "You get to be what's expected of you"(276)?
Norah Vincent, in this last chapter, confessed frankly that she didn't feel quite fitted in the role of man. The feeling of constantly being scrutinized and evaluated by people around and the world in general weren't allowing Vincent to feel "free at all". Every human being tends to take a role that is expected of him/her and act on it every day but Men as Ned viewed were easily sympathized because they weren't able to express their emotional defects and hurting inside at a same time. Nevertheless, I think Vincent especially felt so because she was acting Ned as what he was expected of. Vincent couldn't be free because she had to not go off limits of manhood that is known naturally.
2. What was it that made Ned seem so real to Vincent and other people who were involved with Ned?
Ned was not found out by people around him. Vincent was a "real" man for at least a year. She was physically and spiritually the "real" man. Vincent successfully accomplished her mission as a disguised man for a year and the main key reason to Ned's success as Vincent regards was his powerful psychological that Vincent had worked on Ned. It was Vincent's mental projection of Ned that became so natural and "undetectable" even to Vincent herself. Vincent had deceived everyone perfectly and made them believe as what they saw in Ned. Self-discipline and mind-set did function well in both Ned and Vincent.
3. What about "manhood" Vincent wanted to experience and prove to the world and to herself but failed to do so?
As Vincent wrote a few times throughout the book, she used to be a very tomboyish girl with three older brothers who have added the "manliness" in Vincent. Vincent wrote that she'd always envied about boyhood when she was a child: "the perceived freedoms of being unafraid in the world, stamping around loudly with legs apart."At the beginning of the project Vincent thought living as a man and having access to a man's world would be like gaining admission to the big and open and the real deal life. That was what Vincent presumed she would experience as Ned but the outcome was polar opposite. She felt nothing more than wooden, terse, dissimulated and hardened. I don't think Vincent failed but found out the truth about her ideal world by failing to prove what she thought was totally misjudged.
4. What does this one year of disguised man Ned mean to Norah Vincent and the readers?
No matter how much she hated herself for choosing to be Ned for a year, it was certainly a different way to view the world. Vincent in particular who had admired "manhood" before, it definitely provided her with more than enough experience and information to see the misjudgement about them. Vincent referred men to whom are in pain. "A lot of them are in pain" isn't just a statement. Vincent experienced the same pain as Ned and it's more convincing than a random person says, "I know how you feel about your pain." Vincent truly lived as one in every aspect of one's life. There were restrictions and obstacles that makes her tasks impossible but changing a gender and live as a wholly different person is a big deal and I, as a reader, admire Vincent for her powerful endurance, passion and commitment to her work.
Norah Vincent, in this last chapter, confessed frankly that she didn't feel quite fitted in the role of man. The feeling of constantly being scrutinized and evaluated by people around and the world in general weren't allowing Vincent to feel "free at all". Every human being tends to take a role that is expected of him/her and act on it every day but Men as Ned viewed were easily sympathized because they weren't able to express their emotional defects and hurting inside at a same time. Nevertheless, I think Vincent especially felt so because she was acting Ned as what he was expected of. Vincent couldn't be free because she had to not go off limits of manhood that is known naturally.
2. What was it that made Ned seem so real to Vincent and other people who were involved with Ned?
Ned was not found out by people around him. Vincent was a "real" man for at least a year. She was physically and spiritually the "real" man. Vincent successfully accomplished her mission as a disguised man for a year and the main key reason to Ned's success as Vincent regards was his powerful psychological that Vincent had worked on Ned. It was Vincent's mental projection of Ned that became so natural and "undetectable" even to Vincent herself. Vincent had deceived everyone perfectly and made them believe as what they saw in Ned. Self-discipline and mind-set did function well in both Ned and Vincent.
3. What about "manhood" Vincent wanted to experience and prove to the world and to herself but failed to do so?
As Vincent wrote a few times throughout the book, she used to be a very tomboyish girl with three older brothers who have added the "manliness" in Vincent. Vincent wrote that she'd always envied about boyhood when she was a child: "the perceived freedoms of being unafraid in the world, stamping around loudly with legs apart."At the beginning of the project Vincent thought living as a man and having access to a man's world would be like gaining admission to the big and open and the real deal life. That was what Vincent presumed she would experience as Ned but the outcome was polar opposite. She felt nothing more than wooden, terse, dissimulated and hardened. I don't think Vincent failed but found out the truth about her ideal world by failing to prove what she thought was totally misjudged.
4. What does this one year of disguised man Ned mean to Norah Vincent and the readers?
No matter how much she hated herself for choosing to be Ned for a year, it was certainly a different way to view the world. Vincent in particular who had admired "manhood" before, it definitely provided her with more than enough experience and information to see the misjudgement about them. Vincent referred men to whom are in pain. "A lot of them are in pain" isn't just a statement. Vincent experienced the same pain as Ned and it's more convincing than a random person says, "I know how you feel about your pain." Vincent truly lived as one in every aspect of one's life. There were restrictions and obstacles that makes her tasks impossible but changing a gender and live as a wholly different person is a big deal and I, as a reader, admire Vincent for her powerful endurance, passion and commitment to her work.
Journal Entry #4 March 23, 2009
Through the weeks of reading Self Made Man, our group has learned a lot about the male culture. Self Made Man has opened our minds to even more stereotypes about the male culture that we never thought about in the first place. One of these stereotypes was the feeling of rejection and the extent to which it actually affects a man. Women tend to brush it off and are accustomed to rejecting men, and have no idea that it actually affects them in a negative way. Through Vincent’s experiences as Ned, we also learned that men are constantly under a microscope. Their manhood is always in question and they are unable to open up and show emotions. This is where women get the idea that men are callous and numb to any sort of feeling. In reality, they have all of these feelings and they want to express them to others but they feel as though their manhood and masculinity is at risk. We also learned through Ned’s experience in a male support group that there are a lot of men who have severe hatred toward their mother’s, as well as their father-son relationships being broken and sometimes nonexistent. There are many other secrets that have be unveiled throughout this book. These secrets were intriguing and made the book interesting from the very first page.
Although Vincent does a pretty good job of making sure her research is conducted ethically, our group feels that there were some areas where she could have improved. For one, during her dating time as Ned she came out to three different women and told them that she actually was a woman. Each of them has a different reaction, but most of them still wanted to sleep with Vincent even after she revealed her secret. Our group feels that Vincent was unprofessional in the sense that pursing these women was for her personal enjoyment and not for the book itself. This behavior does not seem ethical to her research about the male culture, and it is really not helping her get inside the mind of a man in order to get the proper research for her book.
At the end of the book Vincent comes to many different conclusions about male culture. The first one was the fact that somebody is always evaluating your manhood. Everyone has high expectations for men and if they fail they fall hard. Vincent also learned that a man’s world is not as open and approachable as she first speculated. The men are always concerned with sex and hazing the weak guy. However, Vincent grew to understand these types of behaviors because of how difficult their lives truly were. The dialogue and words they chose with each other were far from attractive and extremely vulgar and this put Vincent in a very uncomfortable situation. All of this information Vincent found was very relevant to this subculture and she went about finding the information in a very different way than other researchers. She actually lived as a man and retrieved the information that way. However there are many other ways this information could have been found. It would be extremely difficult for Vincent to find her information by simply asking men because they will not come out and tell her the same things she learned as Ned. They may tell her a few things about what it is like to live in a man’s world, but she would not have the same access to it as Ned did. A survey could also have been used, but again the results would not be as good or beneficial to her research.
In the end, Vincent’s ethnography was successful in our minds. She set her mind on a goal and achieved it in every way possible. She even admits that she’ll never truly understand what it like to be a man. In reality it takes a true ethnographer to admit this and own up to the reality of their work. All in all her ethnography about male culture is effective and teaches its readers the true emotions and experiences of a man’s and how hard it can be at times for women to live in it.
Although Vincent does a pretty good job of making sure her research is conducted ethically, our group feels that there were some areas where she could have improved. For one, during her dating time as Ned she came out to three different women and told them that she actually was a woman. Each of them has a different reaction, but most of them still wanted to sleep with Vincent even after she revealed her secret. Our group feels that Vincent was unprofessional in the sense that pursing these women was for her personal enjoyment and not for the book itself. This behavior does not seem ethical to her research about the male culture, and it is really not helping her get inside the mind of a man in order to get the proper research for her book.
At the end of the book Vincent comes to many different conclusions about male culture. The first one was the fact that somebody is always evaluating your manhood. Everyone has high expectations for men and if they fail they fall hard. Vincent also learned that a man’s world is not as open and approachable as she first speculated. The men are always concerned with sex and hazing the weak guy. However, Vincent grew to understand these types of behaviors because of how difficult their lives truly were. The dialogue and words they chose with each other were far from attractive and extremely vulgar and this put Vincent in a very uncomfortable situation. All of this information Vincent found was very relevant to this subculture and she went about finding the information in a very different way than other researchers. She actually lived as a man and retrieved the information that way. However there are many other ways this information could have been found. It would be extremely difficult for Vincent to find her information by simply asking men because they will not come out and tell her the same things she learned as Ned. They may tell her a few things about what it is like to live in a man’s world, but she would not have the same access to it as Ned did. A survey could also have been used, but again the results would not be as good or beneficial to her research.
In the end, Vincent’s ethnography was successful in our minds. She set her mind on a goal and achieved it in every way possible. She even admits that she’ll never truly understand what it like to be a man. In reality it takes a true ethnographer to admit this and own up to the reality of their work. All in all her ethnography about male culture is effective and teaches its readers the true emotions and experiences of a man’s and how hard it can be at times for women to live in it.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Chapter 8: Vocabulary Builder - Tony Baregi
Vocabulary Builder Chapter 8.
Prototypical (275) the original or model on which something is based or formed.
Screed (275) a long discourse or essay
Terseness (276) abruptly concise
Ossification (276) something that has ossified; a bony formation.
Baroquely (277) Extravagant, complex, or bizarre, especially in ornamentation
Puerile (278) childishly foolish; immature or trivial
Cogent (278) to the point; relevant; pertinent
Vitriol (279) something highly caustic or severe in effect, as criticism.
Purporting (279) To have the intention of doing; purpose.
Exonerate (286) to clear, as of an accusation; free from guilt or blame
Prototypical (275) the original or model on which something is based or formed.
Screed (275) a long discourse or essay
Terseness (276) abruptly concise
Ossification (276) something that has ossified; a bony formation.
Baroquely (277) Extravagant, complex, or bizarre, especially in ornamentation
Puerile (278) childishly foolish; immature or trivial
Cogent (278) to the point; relevant; pertinent
Vitriol (279) something highly caustic or severe in effect, as criticism.
Purporting (279) To have the intention of doing; purpose.
Exonerate (286) to clear, as of an accusation; free from guilt or blame
Chapter 8: Graphic Organizer Kaylee Cardinal
Norah Vincent concludes that it was hard being a guy and that overall, she didn’t like it. She came to many conclusions though that served her purpose for making women realize what men go through and what it’s like to live in a man’s world. Vincent describes the expectations that men have. They are completely different from women in the sense that there is this ideal image that every man has to live up to. They are not allowed to be complete human being and aren’t technically allowed to do some of the things girls do, such as cry and have emotions.
The sex drives that men have are something that women could never understand. Even Vincent stated that “I’ll never truly know what that drive feels like on the brain when testosterone is fueling it, but I saw how by turns brutish and powerless a man can feel in the company of women and how bitter and often puerile he can be in the company of men.”
Men also have a completely different type of language that they speak and a dialogue that is sometimes disturbing to women. Men think that they’re all that when they talk dirty and swear. Vincent found out that they’re obsessions with fucking and competing and hazing just make them feel that much more powerful. On the other hand, Vincent said that she knew where much of the language was coming from because of the hard lives that men lead and how it is just a way of getting out their distress.
Rejection was one of the things that Ned had a hard time with. The ability for men to get up enough courage to ask a woman on a date takes a lot of guts. When Ned got rejected the first couple times, he thought he was never going to get a date. He thought that dating was going to be the fun and easy part of being a man, but he was proved wrong when rejection came into his life. But Curtis was there to help him along and give him that extra bit of confidence and tell him to be a man. Ned also dealt with rejection when it came to his work life. Going door-to-door selling books and coupons sounds easy, but Ned thought it was going to be impossible when he got rejected countless times. He was told to be a man again and buck up, and once he did this he ended up being in control and selling book after book and making great money.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Chapter 7: Graphic Organizer Linda Lee
Chapter 7 Self starts with Robert Bly's Iron John about "a crisis of identity in American manhood caused largely by the prevalence of broken relationships between fathers and sons" which is a whole issue about this chapter and Vincent decides to go to Men's secret meeting where she learns a totally different side of only "men" community unlike at the monastery. The guys who attend the meeting come on their own will for self-help and their approach to the reality is different from any group of men Vincent has encountered before. They learn how to communicate and speak their inner sides and be connected and engaged in a casual way and much more adjustable way. It definitely shocked Ned and Ned himself was undergoing a hard time preparing to end this a-year-long journey under confusion and emotional conflicts in him. Being afraid to step in in a different atmosphere of men group pressed Vincent down from feeling free and fully engaging. At the end of the chapter, she consciously questioned herself on the subject of 'truly know what is it like to be a man' out of self-confusion and tiredness. I think she had some Self time to think back what she has accomplished so far to gather justifiably for the book.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Chapter 7: Quizzer Kaylee Moore
1. Vincent believed that going to the male support group would allow her to coast through the last part of her year as Ned, but as she puts it this part of her journey pushed her to her breaking point. Why is it that something that is supposed to relax and welcome men is making Ned go crazy?
Joining the male support group put Vincent in a situation that was out of her comfort zone, even Ned’s comfort zone. Men in general would be uncomfortable at first in this type of open emotional atmosphere. Men are not used to opening up to other individuals in fear of their manhood being questioned. Ned is no different. Ned has never really been in a situation where he would have to open up his true emotions to others, because it is just not a major part of the male culture to do so. Vincent has to make sure not to get too emotional with her actions for fear of her cover being blown. There are only certain ways she can act as Ned that still would be pushing the limits even for males, but going to far risks her revealing herself to the men of the support group. These constant internal struggles are enough to make anyone go crazy. Feeling uncomfortable in your skin, vulnerable, and constantly watching every action you take would push anyone to the point of breaking down. However this was probably a good experience for Ned because he got to see another side of the male culture and got to act the part as well. Not all men are calloused to emotions and it is a beneficial part of Vincent’s research to put Ned in this type of situation, despite the struggles they faced in this situation.
2. Throughout Chapter seven, a lot of the men in the support group deal with a lot of issues with the relationships with their fathers. Do you feel this occurs with a lot of male adults? Why or why not? Would they view life differently if they had a good relationship with their fathers?
According to this chapter it seems as though a lot of men in America hold some kind of hostile emotions towards their fathers. The men in the support group even admitting to being homicidal and wanting to kill them, although these types of crimes would have never occurred. To me, it seems like a majority of the male population would have issues with their father-son relationships. Sons are in a constant battle for acceptance from their fathers. They feel they always have to be more masculine, more athletic and more macho in general for their fathers to accept them. With the constant pull of the reigns, sons feel regret and anger towards their fathers for always trying to control them, or being disappointed in them for specific reasons. Always questioning their manhood and suppressing their emotions puts a great weight on the shoulders of young boys, and this weight is a direct result from the pressure of their fathers, so it is no wonder a lot of fathers and sons have “fall-outs” or have severely hostile relationships. If men in general were not constantly under a microscope, maybe they would have a different outlook on life. Their masculinity is always in question, their emotions always have to be in check, and they battle their fathers more than anyone knows. All of these strains cause a lot stress that makes life hard for a lot of men. If fathers were not so concerned about their sons in this light, maybe young boys would grow up to be compassionate and unafraid to express their emotions.
3. Vincent talks about how refreshing it was to hear the men talk about all of their feelings, even anger out in the open. Why is it that women are too afraid to speak their minds and let others know about their emotions? Do you feel you hold back your true emotions from others?
Men and women share the same fear of showing emotions. Men fear showing their emotions because they worry about others viewing them as weak individuals. However in the support group that Ned participates in the emotions of these men come out all over the place. It surprises me as a female reader to see these men showing their emotions and expressing them so deeply with one another. Women always assume that men are calloused and numb to any type of emotion, when in reality they are not. Women on the other hand are scared to show their emotions since other will automatically judge them for how they behave. No woman wants to be perceived as a bitch, but if she becomes angry and voices her opinions other automatically name call. Men and women both face a double standard when it comes to showing or not showing their emotions. This hinders them from being their true selves and can be very unhealthy. Personally, I know I hold a lot of my anger back with others. I do not want to come off as a mean girl when I get angry with someone, so I try to suppress the emotion and forget the situation ever happened. However, this is probably the worst thing I could do because the anger just keeps growing until I eventually explode on someone and unleash all of my emotions at the wrong time.
4. Towards the end of the chapter Vincent states that she really didn’t know what it was like to be a man and that she never could know. All she was sure about was how it felt to be treated like a male which was what she wanted to get out of this experiment. How does being received as a man contribute to Vincent actually learning what it is like to be a man?
Being accepted as a man is probably the best thing Vincent could have done throughout this entire ethnography. Gaining the acceptance and being received as a man gave her a passageway into their world that she never would have experienced as a woman. Ned led her into situations no woman has ever been before and in turn, Vincent was able to get a taste of what it was like to be a man. I agree that she never could actually know what it is like to be a man. She has the knowledge of how men are treated, which is about as close as she can ask to get to the real thing. Being received as a man led Ned along his journey and gave Vincent a new set of eyes to see the world through. She now has a male perspective on society that will always stay with her and she can appreciate the male culture that much more than any other woman who has not experienced what she put herself through.
Joining the male support group put Vincent in a situation that was out of her comfort zone, even Ned’s comfort zone. Men in general would be uncomfortable at first in this type of open emotional atmosphere. Men are not used to opening up to other individuals in fear of their manhood being questioned. Ned is no different. Ned has never really been in a situation where he would have to open up his true emotions to others, because it is just not a major part of the male culture to do so. Vincent has to make sure not to get too emotional with her actions for fear of her cover being blown. There are only certain ways she can act as Ned that still would be pushing the limits even for males, but going to far risks her revealing herself to the men of the support group. These constant internal struggles are enough to make anyone go crazy. Feeling uncomfortable in your skin, vulnerable, and constantly watching every action you take would push anyone to the point of breaking down. However this was probably a good experience for Ned because he got to see another side of the male culture and got to act the part as well. Not all men are calloused to emotions and it is a beneficial part of Vincent’s research to put Ned in this type of situation, despite the struggles they faced in this situation.
2. Throughout Chapter seven, a lot of the men in the support group deal with a lot of issues with the relationships with their fathers. Do you feel this occurs with a lot of male adults? Why or why not? Would they view life differently if they had a good relationship with their fathers?
According to this chapter it seems as though a lot of men in America hold some kind of hostile emotions towards their fathers. The men in the support group even admitting to being homicidal and wanting to kill them, although these types of crimes would have never occurred. To me, it seems like a majority of the male population would have issues with their father-son relationships. Sons are in a constant battle for acceptance from their fathers. They feel they always have to be more masculine, more athletic and more macho in general for their fathers to accept them. With the constant pull of the reigns, sons feel regret and anger towards their fathers for always trying to control them, or being disappointed in them for specific reasons. Always questioning their manhood and suppressing their emotions puts a great weight on the shoulders of young boys, and this weight is a direct result from the pressure of their fathers, so it is no wonder a lot of fathers and sons have “fall-outs” or have severely hostile relationships. If men in general were not constantly under a microscope, maybe they would have a different outlook on life. Their masculinity is always in question, their emotions always have to be in check, and they battle their fathers more than anyone knows. All of these strains cause a lot stress that makes life hard for a lot of men. If fathers were not so concerned about their sons in this light, maybe young boys would grow up to be compassionate and unafraid to express their emotions.
3. Vincent talks about how refreshing it was to hear the men talk about all of their feelings, even anger out in the open. Why is it that women are too afraid to speak their minds and let others know about their emotions? Do you feel you hold back your true emotions from others?
Men and women share the same fear of showing emotions. Men fear showing their emotions because they worry about others viewing them as weak individuals. However in the support group that Ned participates in the emotions of these men come out all over the place. It surprises me as a female reader to see these men showing their emotions and expressing them so deeply with one another. Women always assume that men are calloused and numb to any type of emotion, when in reality they are not. Women on the other hand are scared to show their emotions since other will automatically judge them for how they behave. No woman wants to be perceived as a bitch, but if she becomes angry and voices her opinions other automatically name call. Men and women both face a double standard when it comes to showing or not showing their emotions. This hinders them from being their true selves and can be very unhealthy. Personally, I know I hold a lot of my anger back with others. I do not want to come off as a mean girl when I get angry with someone, so I try to suppress the emotion and forget the situation ever happened. However, this is probably the worst thing I could do because the anger just keeps growing until I eventually explode on someone and unleash all of my emotions at the wrong time.
4. Towards the end of the chapter Vincent states that she really didn’t know what it was like to be a man and that she never could know. All she was sure about was how it felt to be treated like a male which was what she wanted to get out of this experiment. How does being received as a man contribute to Vincent actually learning what it is like to be a man?
Being accepted as a man is probably the best thing Vincent could have done throughout this entire ethnography. Gaining the acceptance and being received as a man gave her a passageway into their world that she never would have experienced as a woman. Ned led her into situations no woman has ever been before and in turn, Vincent was able to get a taste of what it was like to be a man. I agree that she never could actually know what it is like to be a man. She has the knowledge of how men are treated, which is about as close as she can ask to get to the real thing. Being received as a man led Ned along his journey and gave Vincent a new set of eyes to see the world through. She now has a male perspective on society that will always stay with her and she can appreciate the male culture that much more than any other woman who has not experienced what she put herself through.
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